So yeah, you”ve got grimy future and dusty Old West, then add vampires and a dollop of “Mad Max” (the Priests scoot around the desert on motorcycles), “Batman” (Priest has a utility bible loaded with lots of nifty weapons – who knew that crucifixes made such nifty throwing stars?) and “The Matrix” (lots of mid-air, slo-mo martial arts gymnastics), and the results are a tedious wallow in familiarity. Two of the Priest”s former colleagues come into play – a Priestess (Maggie Q) who helps him in his quest, mainly because she”s been starved for action and deprived of the company of her fellow priests, and Black Hat (Karl Urban), a former man of the cloth who has become the enemy after being transformed into a vampire himself. While the church refuses to sanction the Priest”s return to combat, he nonetheless goes rogue to save the girl. The aforementioned sheriff, Hicks (Cam Gigandet), travels to the city to get Lucy”s uncle, a retired Priest (Paul Bettany), to help him rescue her. With humanity now safely ensconced in church-run walled cities, the priests have been forgotten and shunned from polite society.Ĭut to a Western town – complete with lace curtains, bonnet-clad women, grim farmers, and gun-twirling sheriffs – where a “vamp-pack” kidnaps sweet young Lucy (Lily Collins) and kills her mother (an unrecognizable Mädchen Amick). We begin in a grim, dystopic city of the future that feels cobbled together from “Blade Runner,” “Brazil,” and “THX 1138.” There had been centuries of war between man and vampires, until the church created an army of vamp-killing priests who managed to destroy most of the blood-suckers and sent the rest to live in reservations.
If there”s anything notable about the level of derivativeness that “Priest” achieves, it”s that it borrows so much from so many genres.
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To say that “Priest” is a better vampire movie than “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night” would be the very definition of “damning with faint praise,” but that”s about the best that can be said for this tiresome compilation of clichés and familiar plot devices.
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